Anton's Poems and List of Possible Yearbook Quotes (from Jenny Davidson) In June 1988, some time after we broke up, Anton sent me a short note. He enclosed in the same envelope a sheet of paper he'd just found from the summer before; on the reverse side, the text of one of his very first poems. This turned out to be original poem in Anton's famous series of "Jack" poems, a running joke through all his letters to me over the course of the year (a joke whose origins had been shrouded in mystery). Here is the original poem from July 1987: One day little Jack put a fork into a jack. That hurt. His mother tore him away from it But he held on tight. She thought he was brain-dead. But he wasn't. In fact, he was very smart. His first words were Trigonometry and secant. His father was a math teacher. Installment 2: January 1988. Anton provides an epigraph from the song "Happy Jack" (by the Who?) and amplifies on the original theme. The private joke about "Grandpa" in stanza three refers not to Anton's real grandfather but to a plastic urn that sat on the mantelpiece over the fire at the house we'd stayed in over Christmas at Chain O'Lakes in Texas. Anton insisted that the urn must contain "Grandpa"'s ashes. Epigraph: "The kids would all sing, he [Happy Jack] would take the wrong key, so they wrote [?] on his head and hurried on their way. . . They dropped things on his head, they lied, lied, lied, lied, lied; but they couldn't prevent Jack from being happy." Anton's commentary: By the way, the Jack of my poems is me in a (slightly) preverted form. I. 1-man-Jack (although he should have been called 1-boy Jack) was a studious young man. He played instruments of music. And some sports too. He was a Renaissance Man. Can you say "Renaissance Man?" I didn't think so. II. He had few friends. But that was of little or no import. He could still simplify a mean algebra problem. III. Mathematical genius was hereditary. Grandpa got pretty fucking simplified when they urned him. IV. Jack (one-man, that is) liked to eat Doritos and Fig Newtons. But not simultaneously. That would be stupid. And Jack was certainly not stupid. Neither am I, dear reader. But I too like Doritos and Fig Newtons when taken separately. V. Jack fell in love. With Jill. Jill McDougan was her full name. She was perfect in every way and he loved her. They married. All parents blessed the ceremony. It was beautiful. VI. Jill wrote an epic poem about Jack. Jack was happy and sad. He was happy to be a famous hero. He was sad that he could not express his love for Jill in so refined or elevated a manner. Jack was a low-life. VII. Jack was a cowboy. His dad Jim was too. Grandpa once was too, but by Jack's 14th Birthday of Manhood he was no more than prairie dust mixed with gopher dung. VIII. Cowboy Jack loved his cowgirl more than anyone ever has loved or ever will. In archaic terms, they were destined for each other. Can you say "destined"? Pretty good for a runt female gorilla from the Congo. Next installment: 1-teenager Jack used to ride the bus to go home from his prep school (And indeed, it prepped him well) He had to climb over a fence to get to the bus stop and avoid walking the 10 miles around the fence (actually, about 1/2 block round-trip) He continually tore holes in his khaki pants. And so his Fruit of the Looms stuck out invariably. And so 1-teenager-Jack bought boxer shorts from then on. Designs are so much cooler than tighty-whities. One other thing. January 1988. Anton's list of possible yearbook quotes: "Life is a pool table, after the breakshot" (Nietzche) or how about "So much depends on a little red wheelbarrow glistening with rain water among the white chickens" (Massive Misquoters of America) or "Enter life at your own risk" (Duncan (?)) or "Life is not a spectator sport" (Reebok Advertisement) or "Root Beer" (Alan) or "Is it live--or is it Memorex?" or "Holy Shit, Batman!" or "If life is just a waste of time, & time is just a waste of life, let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives" (Katie (?)) or how about quoting the Warning on a box of Valium? That could be neat. or "I saw Mikhail Gorbachev having sex w/ Mr. Zulman the other day in London, when Bruce Jenner ran by and the Crunchberry beast swallowed them all whole" (Warren Xevon (spelling?)) or "Aw, Fuck You" (Big Bird, Oscar, & Snophalopagus, all in unison) or "A Woman is a hole. A man is a stick" (Max) or "Don't tell me what kind of day to have" and "Happy Trails" (my nefarious English teacher) or "It's a rubber, a condom, a building, a condominium" (someone doing pictionary) or "I did it my way" (The Sex Pistols) or "Don't drink and drive" (Everyone) or "I'm on Hayes' Street" (Taxi commercial) or a Bartles & James quotation or... "go get yourself some Cheap Sunglasses" (ZZ Top) or "I like the enchiladas and the teriyaki too, I even like the chicken if the sauce is not too blue" Jenny Davidson jennyd@pantheon.yale.edu
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